You know that song by Beyoncé “If I Were a Boy”? That song has such a great beat and some moving lyrics. It got me wondering what my life would be like if I were indeed a boy. I’d have better career options, I’d be able to be more physically active in many respects, and I’d even get an opportunity to see what “getting rejected” after asking a girl out feels like! But those are more occasional things – I think the biggest change would be the stuff we girls do every day religiously – apply our beauty products.
First, if I were a guy, I would kiss those French beauty products away because I’d be too cheap to understand the quality! If I were a guy, I would never apply eyelash growth products unless it was Halloween but I would pester my girlfriend to look into eyelash growth for her. As a “guy”, I wouldn’t have to worry about thicker eyebrows – eyebrows are eyebrows, I’d say! Forget dark circle removers, wrinkle cream to reduce wrinkles or age spot treatments for the stubborn age spot – I’d be a guy and having those natural blemishes make a guy look manly and mature! That’s the man – or should I say – caveman perspective! And I’d also have plenty of hair on my legs if I were a guy so my varicose veins wouldn’t show every time I put on a black pencil skirt. Or, from a guy perspective, every time I wear some manly shorts after balling it up on the court.
If I were a guy, though, I’d be a little metro by applying mascara. That’s in vogue now and even straight guys are doing it! Reminds me of the ancient tribes in India or Asia in which the men would apply war paint! Now that’s manly – war paint! If I were a guy I’d say “I don’t apply French beauty products, I apply war paint!” So being a boy, guy, or man, it would then be a daily war paint application ritual. Now I wonder if Jay-Z has a song “If I Were a Girl.”